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  • Communication Cleanse: There Are Only Two Kinds of Communication

    communication cleanse with Tera Warner

    Communication Cleanse: There Are Only Two Kinds of Communication

    by Tera Warner

    At the request of many people in our community, I’ll be taking the time to share some articles and ideas about communication on the blog. While we all know about the power of anti-oxidants and omega fatty acids, few people discuss the fact that you are as alive as you are willing to communicate. What makes some of us more able to communicate and others crawl into our shells? What tricks and tips and solutions can we find to feel more able to confront difficult and uncomfortable situations in our lives. The answers will be found in this series of articles on Communication. Let’s start at the beginning with a look at the only two kinds of communication that are possible.

    Two Kinds of Communication

    If you keep on filling a glass of water, without stopping to take a few drinks, eventually it will spill.

    The same is true with communication. There are essentially only two kinds:

    Incoming communication and outgoing communication. Communication you send, and communication you receive. When the balance gets out of whack, you can start to feel kinda funky.

    If you listen to too many lectures and read too many articles without taking that information and sharing it, applying it, using it, talking about it, doing something with it, you’ll get stuck in the mud.

    If you let someone talk to you too long without putting in a few of your own words, or sharing your thoughts, you may end up feeling irritable, frustrated, woozy and kind of sick to your stomach.

    The balance of incoming communication and outgoing communication is one of the most important things you need to understand. In order for real communication to happen, there has to be a healthy balance!

    Think of how you feel when you’re waiting for someone to reply to you…

    Think of how you feel when you send a message and don’t hear back, or when you call for someone and they don’t answer. It is VITAL that you understand this lesson. Tomorrow we’ll discuss just how important it can be and some helpful tricks for applying this idea in your life!

    Let’s Try This Now

    Since you’re here, receiving this communication, try replying. Take a moment in the comment section below and share something you would like to handle by improving your communication. In the weeks to come as I continue to share more ideas and articles through this “Communication Cleanse” I’ll take time to choose some of the scenarios you mention below and I’ll give some suggestions, examples and explanations about how you can handle some of the different situations you may be faced with.

    There’s a reason those inboxes feel oppressive when they start to pile up. There’s so much INcoming communication that you can’t keep up with the OUTgoing communication. Tomorrow I’m going to teach you a cool trick to handle that. In the meantime, start to balance the flow of this incoming message, by:

    1. Leaving a comment below this post. :-)

    2. Come and chat up a storm on Facebook

    3. Simply go out there and apply this idea in some area of your life.

    How can you be attentive to the idea of having a good balance of incoming and outgoing communication in your own life? I’d love to hear about it! Information is only ever as useful as you are able to apply it, so before I write another sentence and before you read another line, TAKE ACTION and let me know how it goes!

    Love and a Nice Balance,

    Tera Warner


    If you would like to catch an interview I did with one of my mentors and teachers in communication, you can catch it here: http://www.terawarner.com/blog/?p=24460  Coming up in the spring I’ll be hosting a week-long communication retreat here in the Laurentians. If you’re seriously interested in learning more about the tools that I’ll be sharing in the weeks to come, stay tuned and let me know! This will be a life-changing retreat for all who attend.

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    Posted in Tera's Tid Bits | 14 Comments »

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    14 Responses to “Communication Cleanse: There Are Only Two Kinds of Communication”

    1. By Doll on Jan 18, 2013

      Communication is key. Thanks for sharing this with the world :) understanding the importance of sharing with each other helps me along my life’s path.


    2. By Leigh on Jan 18, 2013

      I would like to focus on making sure the OUTgoing communication from me is positive. This includes projecting a joyful, positive, energizing outlook. I also want to keep it “clean”.


    3. By LIsa on Jan 18, 2013

      I tend to interrupt people. and I noticed that I have to up the ante so to speak , bring up another aspect of what is being spoken about, like I have to have the last word. this is from someone who prefers silence , hates mindless chatter and gossip. I can just imagine……ha ha. I’m worse than all of the above.


    4. By sue on Jan 19, 2013

      I tend to be a listener, rather than a talker.
      So I understand that a balance is needed but
      I know for me that changing might need some


    5. By Anne on Feb 1, 2013

      ‘Come and chat up a storm on Facebook.’ This should not be included as a’lets try this now step’ as it pertains only to those registered for your communication seminar. But a like the give and take concept of blogging great deal. Twoway communication is what I am missing. Thanks for giving me a jumpstart.


    6. By Lorena on Feb 1, 2013

      Wow! This idea of needing some balance between incoming and outgoing communication is kind of blowing my mind right now. And I realize that I often feel overwhelmed and frustrated because I am drowning in incoming communication, certainly written but often oral as well (all of my friends and family like to use me as a sounding board and talk and talk and talk). And sometimes the more I am receiving, the more hesitant I am to give because I think it may trigger even more incoming messages. I’m not sure how to go about improving the balance, but it sounds like a good idea.


    7. By Trish on Feb 1, 2013

      this sounds very familiar to me! I could say very much the same things about myself…. So I’m also interested in pursuing this aspect of communication.


    8. By Jessica on Feb 1, 2013

      I’m excited to hear your suggestions. With a new baby (2 months) in the house, there has been mas chaos creating many miscommunications between my partner and I. We both desire to set a good example for our son to learn from.

      We have acknowledged the root cause of most of our arguments stems from a lack of being made to feel like we are still important and attractive to each other. And yet, we fuss and fight over the most petty, inane, little details.

      Hopefully you have some pearls of insight we could benefit from


    9. By Ashleigh on Feb 1, 2013

      Thought this was a great article and I felt as though I could definitely relate at this time in my life. Regarding the part about conversations and interjecting to ask questions to remain engaged: sometimes when I do this I find myself cutting off the “talker” and interrupting their thoughts. Any suggestions?

      Also, I’ve found that telling people about the newest things I’ve learned from my mentor helps me retain it. BUT I just started a journal with pictures to help me retain the useful info as well.

      one last thought: today I met some people I’ve been working with over email for a couple months and they were so happy to finally meet me in person. I can’t describe how powerful it was for me as well. the warm resoonses i got and appreciation I received for helping them with their website was like nothing i could’ve experienced through a computer message. gotta love real communication.

      Looking forward to your advice regarding email/inboxes.



    10. By Fay Prince on Feb 2, 2013

      Thank-you Tera, this info is very important! I am experiencing alot of difficulty here in Quebec because of the difference in language. Right now it feels heavy & I have even considered moving. I really did not understand why I was having all these bad feelings… now I am certain that this is some of it! :)


    11. By Laura on Feb 2, 2013

      Thanks for getting me thinking about this Tara! I educate people in a somewhat dry field, I would like to work on making my discussions more interactive, rather than me just talking the whole time. I believe if the audience can participate more, they’ll be more engaged in the subject matter. Just putting this down in writing for intention helps! Thanks again!! Hugs!


    12. By Victoria Love on Feb 2, 2013

      I am sorry to say that I am one of those people who is stuck in the mud. I am so overwhelmed by all the info that I take in on a daily basis that I tend to jump from one thing to another and end up forgetting to apply it, or share it with anyone. Also my work keeps me going all day long with barely any time to think of little else. Growing up my parents were not very good communicators,
      so this is a skill I still struggle with as an adult. Since communication is so vital for a happy and healthy life, I am constantly trying to improve my skills. I would greatly appreciate any suggestions you could give me!


    13. By Alexandra on Feb 4, 2013

      My husband and I just had a huge fight over the weekend and I know it stems from us not communicating our true feelings. I (we) definitely need some communication cleansing in our relationship!
      Looking forward to applying some of your tips and advice Tera.


    14. By Heidi on Feb 9, 2013

      Great post – so true. There is nothing more important than communicating and the back and forth is what actually IS communicating. So communication is always the response! Therefore, how do you get yourself to stop being the one to do the outgoing communication (and not get some back?). I have this issue… very open, communicating, but no response… would like tips on that! I’m sure it has to do with patience.

      Another thing to remember and help on would be the point at which when NOT to communicate in writing… but to talk/call/see someone in person instead. Part of that stems from avoidance of tough subjects. It can get you in trouble if you don’t communicate in the right way.
      Thank you!


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