Are You Thinking Your Way to Love?

Are You Thinking Your Way to Love?

– by Brenna Ortner

It’s quite difficult for the universe you give you love, love, love, love when you are constantly thinking and attracting lonely, ugly, unattractive, not worthy, will never happen. So…

How can you shift that way of thinking that you are so used to?

How can you start attracting, feeling, thinking love if you feel as though you are far from it?

Here are some healthy tips for you to try things a little differently this year.

I’m Doing What 50,000 Times A Day?!?

Deepak Chopra tells us we have on average 50,000 thoughts a day and about 80% of them are the same that we had yesterday.  That statistic is mind-blowing. So if you are upset, unhappy or feeling unloved you are thinking upsetting, unhappy or unloving thoughts to yourself about 50,000 times a day!

What would happen if you became conscious of those thoughts and nipped them in the bud before they took over? What if you considered changing them? Don’t worry, you don’t have to listen to your mind 50,000 times a day. Loving thoughts are much more powerful than negative thoughts so just changing a few will have a very powerful impact.

Try getting angry without first having angry thoughts. Okay, now feeling stressed out without first having stressful thoughts – or sad without sad thoughts – or jealous without thoughts of jealousy. You can’t do it – it’s impossible. The truth is, in order to experience a feeling, you must first have a thought that produces that feeling. Unhappiness doesn’t and can’t exist on it’s own. Unhappiness is the feeling that accompanies negative thinking about your life. In the absence of that thinking, the unhappiness, or stress, or jealousy, can’t exist. There is nothing to hold your negative feelings in place other than your own thinking.

– Richard Carlson

Start replacing just a few of those negative thoughts with your favorite loving emotion. For me, the emotion is gratitude. I find gratitude attracts more gratitude and I find myself speaking what I’m grateful for every day. It can be anything. Your life. The trees. The air you breathe. Your sister. Your friends. The food and shelter you have. The comfort of your bed. You will start to feel love when you start thinking loving thoughts.

You Are What You Eat (and Think!)

The food you choose to eat can be extremely powerful. It can heal and it can slowly destroy (depending on what you pick of course).

Your thoughts are the same, and can have the same affect on you as the foods that you are eating. There are tests done on water comparing just thoughts of sending love versus hate to the water. The actual composition of the water changes dramatically from plump vibrant healthy water molecules to quite the opposite, when negative thoughts are present.

Do you ever wonder why some people can eat terribly unhealthy foods and can be healthy, or eat perfectly well and are sick?

I believe it’s because they may not realize they are sending stress, anger, hatred (you pick the emotion) into their food as they are eating it. If I am stressed about something I sit and calm myself before eating. You may unknowingly be turning those amazing powerful carrots into toxins the second they are introduced into your body. Your thoughts are that powerful. If you are wondering ‘How the heck am I going to be able to think about my thoughts, I have enough to think about!’, it is great practice to start with just before with your meals. Send a quick loving happy thought and dig in!

Bring those happy thoughts back to the one who deserves them most – You!

Praise yourself as you would to your closest friend.

Talk to yourself as though you were talking to them.

Why should it be any different?

You can tell them they are beautiful and smart and amazing, but not yourself? Why? Change that – and pronto missy! For people to show you love you need to show yourself love first. How can you possibly attract others loving you, when YOU, yourself don’t love you. Not possible. Love yourself. Be proud of yourself. Praise yourself.  You deserve that much. You are amazing and brilliant and wonderful and doing the best that you can. Acknowledge that.

“Love yourself first and everything falls into line.” – Lucille Ball

Put a sticky note up on your mirror and on your desk to remind yourself of when you are being mean to yourself. If you don’t want others to read it, make it in code! I have a friend who as a reminder to another friend says, ‘Hey stop talking about my friend that way!’ Meaning hey, stop saying those things about yourself!

Catch yourself during those moments. We all have them. If all you can give yourself is just a moment of love each day, start there. You will feel a change.

Healthy Little Bit

Write down exactly how you want to attract love. If you feel ready to share it with the world, tell us what you came up with in the comment section below!

Declare out loud what you REALLY want! If it’s through a significant other, write down exactly who you want to attract down to the nitty gritty details. Sit with your list of love and feel as though that love is already in your life. Really sit with it until you feel it. No cheating here, this is for you!  You should be smiling ear to ear. I did this a few years ago and realized years after meeting my future husband that he was the EXACT person I had written down, to the very little details. It works.

Meet Brenna Ortner

BrennaBrenna Ortner is a Board Certified Holistic Health Coach who guides women to thrive in their bodies. She will help you feel calm and confident, lower or eliminate sugar addictions and find the real energy you’ve been looking for. Brenna will work with you to heal the root cause of your health challenges so you can start living a happy life with your body working for you, not against you. She specializes in PMS, mood imbalances, infertility, low libido, low energy, inability to lose weight & menopause.

Get a Dose of Lovin’ at WISH This Year!

WISH Summit

Love and relationships are on the agenda at this year’s Women’s International Summit for Health coming up in just a few weeks time.

Register FREE before March 8th to hear from luminaries including Bernie Siegel, John Gray and Marni Battista.



  1. says

    I also wrote an “ad” for my perfect partner – and I met him within 6 months! I read him the ad after we had gone out a few times and he just laughed.

    I have my “top ten” list of how I want to experience love with my partner. We wrote these up so we could make sure each of us was feeling love the way we wanted to.

    1. I love the way I feel when I am with my partner – loved, valued, appreciated, admired, respected, cherished and adored.
    2. I love the way my partner cares about what I want, and asks when appropriate.
    3. I love the way my partner supports me in everything I do. He is the “wind beneath my wings”!
    3. I love the way my partner treats me like I am the most important person in the world.
    4. I love the way my partner and I feel connected at a very deep level, the way we interact and communicate, even without words. Especially without words.
    5. I love the way my partner helps without being asked.
    6. I love that my partner is compassionate and generous – with me and everyone else he meets.
    7. I love that my partner is open to whatever comes his way, and that he is always learning and growing.
    8. I love the way my partner laughs at my mistakes, and encourages me.
    9. I love the way my partner takes good care of his health.
    10.I love my partner’s positive attitude!


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